Make it up as You Go-Go

Let me tell you something: I live three miles outside the Chicago city limits, and it is cold here. No, it's not the coldest place in the country or the world right now, and no, it's not even as cold as it'll be this winter (or even this week, actually). But it's a mere 17 degrees right now with a "feels like" of 5 degrees, and there's a wind chill advisory in effect until lunchtime tomorrow. So, as I said, it's cold.

I got really cranky earlier about how cold I was and decided that the only cure for it was a thick, savory, steaming vat of beef stew with at least one piece of buttered sandwich bread on the side. The only trouble is that I don't know how to make thick, savory, steaming beef stew. I've always been a stubborn determined person, so you know what I did? I made it up. And it was damn good, I'm happy to report. So now I'll be sharing that process with you. Follow me if you're cold and need to be warmed up or know someone that is and does. Just keep in mind that I made up pretty much everything as I went along with only a very vague roadmap in my mind, so feel free to add or subtract as you see fit.

Now I know that food sanitation experts the world over recommend having separate flora and fauna cutting boards. I'm admitting to you now, in front of God and everybody, that I use the same cutting boards for meats and veggies. I make up for it by having a very strict "veggies then meats" rule, and I always wash with very hot water after every meat use. Phew, glad I got that off my chest. Onward!

First I peeled and cut up a bag of carrots:



Sidenote: I always cut my carrots at an angle because I feel like it impresses people more than a blunt cut. It "looks fancier". I'm insane; don't listen to a word I say.

Then I cut up three pounds of red potatoes even though I wasn't putting them in for another couple hours because of the aforementioned veggies-then-meat rule.



Then it's time for the meat assembly line. Meat, seasoned flour, board to transport them to pot. We used three pounds of pre-cut "stew beef", which is basically just cubed chuck roast. If the uncut chuck roast is cheaper than the pre-cubed stuff (which it usually is, though not today), grab one of those and cut it into cubes yourself. As for the seasoned flour, I just grabbed a few handfuls of flour (I'd say it was less than two cups) and seasoned it with whatever struck my fancy. I few dashes of cayenne, a measure of Lawry's seasoned salt, plenty of black pepper, etc.



Give the meat a light flour coating.



Brown it in a dutch oven on high heat with a little olive oil. Just toss it around so you get all sides.



Don't overcrowd the pan. Work in batches if you have to, just be ready to heat a little more oil between batches.

Oh, and remember that veggies-then-meat rule? Here's my proof that I follow it. This photo from my new series entitled "True Life: I'm Forgetful".



Now I didn't technically skip any portion of the recipe since there is no recipe, but I had decided before I did anything that I was going to use this ginormous onion that'd been on my counter for a while. The cutting board and my favorite knife had already been meated, so I had to use backups.

Not to be discouraged, I deglazed the pan with two cups of beef broth.



Deglazing is when you pour liquid into a pan, turn the heat on high, and vigorously scrape the heck out of the bottom. The goal is to get all the bits up that stuck to the bottom while you browned the meat. Those bits are a flavor goldmine. Scraping up those bits now also makes it much easier to clean the pot later.

Then I threw in a tablespoon each of worcestershire and apple cider vinegar plus a couple heaping tablespoons of tomato paste.



I threw that concoction in the dutch oven along with the veggies and the meat.



Oh look! It's another photo from "True Life: I'm Forgetful"!



Yeah, yeah, so I meant to smash the garlic earlier in the "veggies" stage of cutting board use. I had already put the backup cutting board in the dirty sink, so I smashed these babies out of their skins right on the counter.

Everyone was finally ready to hang out and get to know each other.



I actually brought it to a boil uncovered and let it boil for about ten minutes before reducing it, covering it, and letting it simmer for two hours. It wasn't quite as thick as I wanted it to be when I checked it, though, so I took action. I mixed a couple tablespoons of that seasoned flour with as little hot water as possible and poured it in.



Then I let it simmer uncovered for another half hour, and that did the trick. By this time you might be wondering what happened to those potatoes you saw me cutting up. Well, true to the "fly by the seat of my pants" nature of today, I decided halfway through that I didn't want to put the potatoes in the stew lest they get mealy. I hate mealy potatoes. Hate hate hate. I decided instead to turn them into mashed potatoes. I had a vision of a mashed potato volcano with a beef stew lava river.

And you know what? It was so good.



Make it tonight for your family. Invite the neighbors over. The stew will keep them warm through the walk back to their house and beyond.

Improvised Beef Stew:
3 lbs cubed chuck roast
Flour, seasoned for dredging
1 lb bag of carrots, peeled and cut at angles to make yourself feel fancy
1 gigantic onion, roughly quartered
6 cloves or garlic, smashed
1 TBL Worcestershire sauce
1 TBL apple cider vinegar
2 heaping TBLs tomato paste
2 cups beef broth
Salt & pepper to taste